


What it Means

by kayjaylew



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gay Panic, Haru still loves Yuki, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, THAT BEING SAID, Yuki never had a good example of a healthy romantic relationship growing up, it's not angsty though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:20:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25315927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayjaylew/pseuds/kayjaylew
Summary: Yuki and Hatsuharu walk home together, contemplating what it means to love someone.
Relationships: Sohma Hatsuharu & Sohma Yuki, Sohma Hatsuharu/Sohma Rin, Sohma Kyou/Sohma Yuki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 41





	What it Means

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for choosing to read this fic! A few notes before starting, I took some liberties with the canon and its timeline, but nothing drastic.  
> A lot of Yuki's thoughts in this story reflect a lot of what goes through my head as a queer person, and my hope is that someone else might see themselves in Yuki, too.
> 
> With that said, happy reading!

The light rain splashed onto Yuki’s socks from the sidewalk as he ran to the front of the gate. It had been a busy day; meeting with the new candidate for student President, finishing up some last-minute adjustments to the program for the graduation ceremony (thanks to one certain useless Vice President who had neglected to mention that he hadn’t submitted several order forms for the decoration budget) and doing club rounds. While it was fulfilling work and helped Yuki feel good about his productivity levels for the day, it also meant that he left Hatsuharu waiting for him by the school gates for an extra 20 minutes longer than the time they had agreed to walk home.

Breathing heavily and blinking the rain from his eyelashes, Yuki started slowing down as he neared the school entrance and caught sight of Haru’s famous hair. Hair which, Yuki noted, was soaking wet due to the fact that Haru hadn’t even bothered to open the umbrella that he was holding loosely to his side.

“Haru,” the older boy chided, “don’t make more trouble for Hatori by catching a cold. Why aren’t you using your umbrella?” Haru hummed without turning around. “I thought it would be nice to share an umbrella for once. Besides,” he tilted his head back towards Yuki, “I think this kind of weather is nice, don’t you?” Yuki’s mouth curved into a small half-grin, looking almost like a grimace. 

“It’s a lot nicer when you don’t have to spend the day after in your bed because you were too careless.”

“I wouldn’t mind. I have you to take care of me.”

Yuki reached up and lightly bonked Haru on the forehead, before opening up his own umbrella as an offering. “Ha ha, let’s go.”

They started walking in comfortable silence, with nothing but the sound of rain and passing cars to fuel their conversation. When they reached an intersection, Haru abruptly stopped. It took Yuki a few moments to register that his companion was no longer by his side. He turned around in confusion. “Something wrong?” Haru stared at him in contemplation.

“Why aren’t you walking home with Kuragi?”

Yuki flushed red and tensed his mouth into a line. “It’s not like we ever made plans to.” He twisted his fingers nervously. “What’s your point?” Haru shrugged. “I guess I was just thinking that you usually walk home with the person you like.” Yuki sighed tiredly, his shoulders sagging a bit. He schooled his expression and started walking through the intersection, knowing the younger boy would follow him.

They walked in silence again, with a slightly more forlorn mood between them. They came to the small bridge leading to the private pathway to the Soma property, and then, quietly: “I don’t really want to force a monopoly over her time.”

“But you do like her?”

“Of course I do,” Yuki snapped, “Why is that even a question? I don’t know why you’re reading into this so closely.” Haru hummed again. “I’m not really. Just curious.” “There’s nothing to be curious about, I had just already said that I would walk with you to Shigure’s house already. That’s all.” “Okay,” Haru nodded, “that makes sense.” “Yes,” Yuki said sternly, “it does.”

The crunch of fallen leaves flooded their walking feet as they continued on the small, dirt path to Shigure’s. It was autumn, now, and the sky knew it, as it was barely five in the evening and the stars were already poking through the canopy of clouds like little pin pricks in the night. It was a cool evening, and even with the rain starting to wane away, the slight wind kept the air cool. Yuki shivered as a particularly sudden gust blew past them. Haru offered to take the umbrella as the older boy adjusted his uniform coat. Yuki wordlessly handed it over and nodded in thanks. As Haru folded the umbrella away, he quietly contemplated the smaller boy next to him.

“I want to monopolize all of Rin’s time.”

“...What?”

Hatusharu shrugged. “I think I want to do everything I can with her. I want to eat together, sleep together, walk to school together, have se-” 

“Haru,” 

“But I can respect that it doesn’t always work that way. I really like Rin, and even though it’s not necessarily a realistic fantasy, I want to be a part of every part of her day. I want to monopolize all of her time.” Haru tugged on Yuki’s sleeve. “I wanted to monopolize all of your time, too. I still do.”

“Cut it out, Haru, it’s not funny. What are you trying to tell me?”

Hatsuharu looked the older boy in the eye with a gentle look on his face. “Yuki,” he began, “what does it mean to you to like someone?”

Yuki froze at his question. It took him a while to ponder what he was being asked. What it meant to like someone? That’s a bit of a ridiculous question. Of course, it means you want the best for them. You enjoy their progress just as much as you enjoy your own progress. You’re sad when they’re sad. But also - 

“It means you want them to like you back.”

Haru put his hands in his pocket and smiled softly. “Yeah,” he said, “I think so, too. But,” he paused, contemplating. “What separates the person you like from your friends? Your family? Your classmates? Your club members?

_ A flash of red hair _

“What does it mean to  _ you _ to like someone?”

It was a while before Yuki responded. The pair walked up until they reached the large flight of stairs leading to the front door of the house. Yuki looked down at his white shoes, and noticed a bit of dirt on the top of them. Haru was a few steps from the bottom when- 

“When you caught up with Rin, that one time,” Yuki began, “I could tell that you wanted to hold her, even when you weren’t touching her. I could tell by how you looked at her. I don’t, I mean, when it comes to Machi, I don’t…” he twisted his fingers. “I don’t… want that from her, probably. Does that make me a bit… strange, to you?” Haru paused in his walking to consider his fellow zodiac. 

“Why would that make you strange?”

Yuki grimaced a bit desperately. “I know  _ you  _ wouldn’t think it strange, but I know that you’re supposed to want that with the person you like. How I feel for Machi is different from Honda-san. I love Machi, and I don’t feel any sort of familial connection to her. If that’s the kind of love I’m supposed to have for a girl, then why do I seem to be missing the feeling of ‘want’ that seems to come so naturally to other people?” Yuki had Haru’s full attention now, and Haru considered his words carefully before speaking them. “Well,” he paused, and put his hands in his pockets. “A big part of loving someone romantically, in my experience, is that there’s an emotional bond that you don’t give away as freely as other social bonds that you would give away to other people in your life. A lot of people in our lives have these strong emotional bonds with us. Our parents, our friends,” A glance, “Our first loves-,”

“Haru.”

“and those bonds aren’t limited to those we’re in romantic relationships with. Problem is, sometimes it’s hard to differentiate romantic bonds from those other kinds of important bonds to us. I know you had that same sort of revelation with Honda.” The rat nodded. “But, like I mentioned, there aren’t only two types of bonds. There’s more than romance and friendship. Personally, I think it’s up to us whether or not we chose to evolve these bonds into romance or not. But,” Haru stepped down and put one hand on Yuki’s shoulder while the other hand toyed with his own necklace, “I don’t think that we have to force romance on every bond that’s important to us that isn’t family, either.” With that, leaving little time for Yuki to process, Haru removed his hand on the shoulder and used it to start tugging his favorite fellow-Soma up the stairs.

* * *

After drying off in Yuki’s room, Haru joined everyone in the household for dinner. It had been a while since he had eaten with them like this, what with Yuki and Kyo studying for their exams, and Tohru job searching. If he noticed Yuki’s uncomfortable shifting whenever Kyo and Tohru would smile at each other, he didn’t say anything. Thankfully, Shigure had enough tact for once to also remain silent. After finishing, Haru started to exit through the front door, when Shigure called out with a twinkle in his eye. “Oh Hatsuharu, it’s too dark outside for you to be wandering home alone. I know Hari would have my head if I even thought about sending you out. Stay here for the night, I’ll call your mom and let her know.” Looking at Shigure skeptically, but with a mumbled word of thanks, Hatsuharu once again removed his shoes and quietly plunked up the stairs towards Yuki’s room.

Even though Yuki looked surprised at Haru still being there, he smiled and made room on the floor next to where Yuki was reading his workbook. In companionable silence, Yuki continued reading. Haru flipped through the channels on Yuki’s television, its noise seamlessly blending in with the ambiance of the house.

Haru side-eyed Yuki after several moments. “Kyo and Tohru seemed to be in pretty high spirits today.” If it wasn’t for the imperceptible tremor on the corner of Yuki’s lips, Haru would have said that Yuki was unaffected. The older boy breathed in and straightened his posture. “Yeah, they were. Tohru was promoted to a supervisor at her job this evening. She’s definitely earned it, and she and Kyo have been pretty animated about the news.” Yuki softly smiled conspiratorially. “Don’t tell Kyo, but I think Momiji’s dad pulled a few strings. I’m pretty sure he felt embarrassed that his son’s friend hadn’t been given a raise in all the time she’s worked there, and this is his way of making amends. Tohru knows, of course - Momiji told her - but Kyo would definitely go on a  _ very  _ long rant about how Tohru doesn’t need a job that isn’t able to recognize her for her own merits. He can be sweet-“ the older boy caught himself, “in his own way. Sometimes.” Haru hummed in supportive agreement.

“I don’t know if I would call Kyo’s particular brand of kindness ‘sweet,’ but I know what you mean. When he was a kid, maybe.” “I think he’s more sweet than he lets on,” Yuki defended. “He’s certainly sweet to Tohru, and Kagura, in a way. And sometimes when he-,” he caught himself, clearing his throat. “What I mean, is,” he started again, “Kyo can be sweet.”

Silence.

“Uh-huh,” Haru said slowly.  Yuki slowly moved back to his workbook, his face pale and pinched.  Haru still stared at him.  “Yuki…” Yuki blanched. “What?”

“...I don’t think that you’re strange. For not wanting that ‘something’ with Kuragi, you know.”

Yuki said nothing. Then, he slowly touched Haru’s hand, without showing his face. “Thank you.”

If Haru saw teardrops hitting Yuki’s book, he didn’t say anything.

**Author's Note:**

> And there you have it! It's my personal canon for this story that Yuki and Kyo are endgame, but feel free to read this however you want. While I think Kyoru is an adorable couple, YukiKyo was definitely one of my first OTPs (along with YukiHaru, can you tell?) I also think that Momiji and Tohru would be another endgame for this universe, but Momiji truly deserves a better love story than what's shown in canon.
> 
> I might continue with this world at a later time, who knows! But certainly don't expect anything until at LEAST August 2021 lol
> 
> I love being a part of this fandom! It's so crazy that only a few years ago I thought I was one of the last dinosaurs to know what Fruits Basket was, but now here we are!
> 
> If you want to chat, I have an art account of twitter where I post some of my work periodically, and a piece for this fic might be up there soon! If you were inspired to draw something by this story, hmu (@_chaoticpisces) and we can gush all about fruits basket together!
> 
> Stay safe and healthy, everyone!


End file.
